One of the reasons for starting this blog, is to detail the process of dehoarding my house. When mom died, she left behind a ton of stuff; that admittedly my brother and I had added to over the years. We moved almost every year growing up; and each time we moved, things were stuffed into boxes, and hidden neatly away in a storage area.
Currently, 24 years worth of stuff, is occupying the fairly large back room in our garden. Which is not to mention the junk I brought back with me when I moved back home; which is currently making our living room unliveable, and our dining room non-existent. Not to mention the fact that the passage way is now half its normal width and my bedroom consists of a pathway to the bed, and the computer desk; surrounded by yet more stuff.
I know I'm a hoarder. I see something that any logical person would throw away; and I just know there's a use for it somehow. I also know that it's utterly ridiculous to keep hanging onto stuff that we've lugged around for years, and never used. I didn't realise until this weekend just how difficult the process of dehoarding was going to be.
I started with a box that my DVD player came in. I still have the DVD player, but when I moved back home, it was packed into the car without the box. Why? Because the box had been stuffed full of, well, junk. There are some things I can throw away without a problem. Papers that have no sentimental value for example. Newspapers I save, because I use them to line the bottom of the bird cages, and we never really have a surplus of them.
But when it really hit me, was when I unfolded a poster that has moved from one box to another over a period of about 7 years, and has never once ended up on my wall. It's not even a poster I particularly like: a herd of horses running through the sea foam. It's not the best picture, not printed on quality paper... it was just, well, ugly. And it irritated me, because the splashes of sea foam looked lilke dirty spots on the paper. But I couldn't bring myself to throw it away. Because, it might still look good if I framed it and stuck it on my wall. Yeah, right.
So I asked for help. Elf, after having a good chuckle at my expense, very kindly took the really ugly poster, and even more kindly, and with a look of great satisfaction on her face, proceeded to rip it up into tiny little shreds, which I then had no trouble throwing away.
Orphan wasn't as helpful. I happened across a wallet that I used to use; which, while not in a bad condition, was also in dire need of a good clean. Or a good dustbin. I tried to throw it away. I did. Orphan dug it out; insistent that it could be used, that she would use it or find someone to give it to for them to use. She wiped it with a damp cloth, put it down; and as far as I know, it's still lying on top of the chest of drawers amidst a ton of other clutter that seems to accumulate on surfaces in my house. It's okay... I figure, when her back is turned, I'll go through the clutter on the unit, and quietly throw it away. Besides, at least I'm not the only one who has trouble throwing things out.
Paper gift bags are saved to be reused. They will eventually end up in the drawers which we plan to use to store our craft goodies. As soon as we empty them of the junk they currently contain of course. (On a side note; why do most hoarders seem to be incredibly creative with several lifetimes worth of craft supplies?)
And then the hardest part... I used to make my own doll 'clothes'. Every little scrap of material I happened across, was saved to be used as something for the toys I owned. A triangle cut out of a piece of felt became a cape for my Barbie, for example. And what should I find in the box; but some of these scraps of material. Too small to be of any real value; but still... If I dug out my toys, I could make something for them. Right? Uh... no. (About this time, I'm busy bashing my head against a mental brick wall, aware of the sheer idiocy of wanting to hang onto those little pieces; but unable to stop thinking about the various uses I could put them to.) Besides which, I've had them for over seven years without harm coming from them, how could it hurt to keep them now?
Once again, Elf proved useful. Her slightly-cruel-but-not-deliberately-so laughter got to me. So I chucked them. And then had to hold back tears. Those stupid little pieces of material had no real value... But to a child, with an overactive imagination; those pieces of cloth were blankets to a freezing cold Barbie. They were rolled up and became bedrolls that were strapped on behind the saddle of her horse for those long trips through harsh terrain. They were tents, and carpets and silken sheets... And they spoke of an innocent enjoyment of the simple things, that as an adult, I'd almost forgotten. They were a reminder that innocent pleasures are often the best to be found; and that sometimes the treasure isn't in how something looks, but in how we choose to see it.
I left the material in the trash. The memories of silken sheets and warm capes will be enough.
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